1. Learn to pay attention to all your thoughts.
Pay attention to your minds running commentary.
Don't passively accept your minds commentary.
Look at it, ponder it, form your own opinion and then assert it. We have all spent a lifetime being conditioned by outside influences, many of them negative.
Time to change old bad habits in to
good new ones and cultivate better mental awareness.
2. Let go of foolish thoughts.
Some thoughts are just old habits repeating the same tired words and patterns.
Stop chasing these thoughts.
Letting go of them will lead to better mental calm.
Sometimes your mind likes to suck you into random foolishness often upsetting our stability.
Reject the thoughts that you realize are the same script repeating itself and acknowledge you are tired of this game.
3. Deal with your issues.
Some thoughts keep coming back because you have not dealt with them properly.
Until we deal with our issues our mental calm will always be upset.
So, simply, deal with your issues.
Sometimes it is hard to get to our truth,
keep digging and asking yourself questions to find out exactly what it is that is truly bothering you.
Be patient this can take time.
4. Reject negative influences.
There are so many negative influences in the outside world and they seep into our minds.
Your mind is both influenced by the outside world and by YOU.
It is important to be aware of what is going on in your mind.
Be determined to be the greater influence.
Then your mind can learn peace and love and calm and happiness, from you.
5. Allow time for your hurts to heal.
Sometimes we are coping with pain and we need to allow ourselves time to hurt and be angry or sad. This is part of healing.
You need to give yourself time to process these emotions,
otherwise you will never really heal.
Don't take your emotional pain out on others that just causes more pain.
Find ways to process your emotions in a way that doesn't hurt others.
6. Respond instead of react.
Take a deep breath and calm your nerves before you respond to any difficult situation.
In doing so you can remain stable and balanced.
Think before you speak.
Then speak in calm rational tones.
7. Speak to yourself with dignity love and respect.
When we can get into the habit of mentally speaking to ourselves this way we can break the old habit of insulting ourselves and insulting others.
When the minds random nasty thoughts arise, we are armed with the tools to reject such notions.
8. The benefit of a calm mind.
When we cultivate peaceful happy emotions and mind states we can become a more loving, understanding, forgiving person.
When we learn to rely on ourselves for love and compassion it is much easier to share it with others.
If they withhold love, that is ok, as you can always direct love to yourself.
It is not always beneficial to raise your expectations. just as it is not always beneficial to lower them. Keeping them in a healthy balanced zone is best for our well-being.
Of course every situation is unique and different, so we can decide when to raise them and when to lower them using discernent and wisdom.
Here are 8 ways to keep them balanced and working for you.
1. The world is messed up.
Accept the world is a messed up place and move on.
But, also acknowledge that there is a lot of good, kind, loving, helpful people out there. Hooray!
2. Yes people are weak sometimes.
Don't expect others to have the strength to be peaceful, kind and gentle.
Who knows what struggles they have experienced or might be going through.
Balance this by remembering:
You can be peaceful, kind and gentle even if others can't be.
Be the example, and balance the anger and hositility out there with compassion and kindness.
3. We all have flaws.
Accept we all have flaws and sometimes we don't do a very good job.
But also realize, since we all have flaws, have some compassion and don't be so hard on yourself or others.
4. Sometimes we have no control over things.
Accept reality as it is when you have no control over a situation.
But also remember:
Whenever and wherever you can don't accept a crappy reality if you can do something to improve it.
Accept you will sometimes get sad and angry and distressed and may even act unpleasantly.
Have compassion for your own weaknesses and perhaps you can have compassion for others too.
This can help you accept that sometimes we are all crappy.
Remember you can also keep chaotic hostile feelings balanced with peaceful calming feelings.
Don't allow anger or grief to consume your mind.
6. It's hard to understand other people sometimes.
Don't expect to understand everyone.
But, we can at least try. This requires listening, not talking.
People are more often nasty through ignorance than malice.
Too much pain can cause us to act nasty,
just as too much adulation can lead us to act this way as well.
Sometimes people just can't rise above their situations and experiences.
Sometimes they don't want to.
It often takes wisdom and strong determination to rise above our experiences.
7. Where is the love?
Don't expect people to love you.
Instead learn to love yourself so that when people don't love you, someone still does! YOU :)
Then when someone does love you, it is a gift, a blessing, a bonus.
8. Set boundaries if they can't be respectful.
Expect and demand that others people treat you with a certain amount of dignity and respect. If they can't do this little thing, then create some distance. Remember, you too must treat others with dignity and respect. This is great for the well-being of all.